ROUNDUP - PART TWO
Part two of our article about low-budget indie science fiction
efforts out there.
that I have learned watching THE BRENDON COREY STORY, a
“documentary” available from
Truthseeker TV, about a guy who investigates the mysterious
disappearance of a close friend who wanted to unmask Dick Cheney as an
alien in disguise:
- American vice-president Dick Cheney is a
shape-shifting blood-drinking Satanist reptilian alien (this would
actually explain a lot when one thinks about it).
- As in They Live, aliens already rule our planet
— all our political leaders are in fact shape-shifting reptiles (which
again would explain a lot).
- The aliens run our planet via a secret organization
called the Illuminati, which in turn consists of several smaller cells.
- The reptilian aliens have their origin in when the
Biblical Eve had children with the Serpent (the Devil in disguise,
- The Illuminati used to be the Knights Templar.
- Proof of this can be found throughout the streets of
London where the aliens have left us clues in the guise of lots (and we
mean lots) of statues of dragons bearing shields with St George crosses
- The Illuminati regularly meet a place called
Bohemian’s Grove in Los Angeles where they slurp at cocktails and munch
down canapés before ritually sacrificing big-breasted blonde women in
the basement below whilst wearing long robes and chanting stuff.
- The Secret Service is in on this
— in fact, some of them are aliens as well!
- There is an underground tunnel system beneath the
entire United States which is used to transport VIPs from place to
- The U.S. government employs psychics who can see into
the future to spy on its citizens.
- David Icke is right
Now to be honest I was never quite sure while watching
The Brandon Corey Story whether the film-makers were taking the piss as
the Brits say, or not.
This “documentary” is all patently made up and clearly
— but the film-makers’ intentions are unclear: do they expect us to
take it seriously, or just treat it as a piece of fiction? I don’t know. I
think we’re supposed to take the general gist – the bits about the
— seriously, but discard the whole “Brandon Corey was a real
person” specifics. But I’m not quite sure
— there are some real kooks out there.
Still, The Brendan Corey Storey is hugely entertaining,
but for all the wrong reasons I suppose, it being filled to the brim with
unintentional laughs. Or is it?
(Heretic Pictures) comes with
impressive cover blurbs. Variety called it “a potent addition to the grand
tradition of indie sci-fi” and eFilmCritic describes it as “ethereal”,
adding that it “challenges us to decipher what it means to be alive.”
This particular viewer
however spent more time trying to decipher what Numb is all about
in the first place.
The DVD jacket offers
the following plot synopsis: in the future “angels” will be mindless
machines created from the computer-scanned bodies of people so desperate
for physical immortality they’re willing to die to achieve it. In decaying
Yerba City, the only functions of “angels” is to maintain a broken and
failing civilization that is hopelessly addicted to a debilitating
narcotic known only as the “Drip.”
Anyway, you get full
marks if you managed to deduce the above from just watching the movie. It
is one of those cases in which the director has a pretty good idea of what
he has in mind, but lacks the skills to communicate it to the audience.
Pretentious and incomprehensible, the film is shot in Black & White with
flashback scenes shot in grainy color. Numb will either strike you
as profoundly insightful or unbearably pretentious, depending on your
temperament. I found it to be the latter.
SOUL SEARCHER (www.wysiwygfilms.com) an underpaid municipal worker in London one
night witnesses a battle between two super-powered supernatural entities.
Death himself happens to one of the battling entities and after
dispatching of his opponent, he takes the young municipal worker on as his
protégé. In case you were wondering Death is a job that gets passed on
from one person to another and you prepare for the job by learning how to
Kung Fu fight using a huge scythe.
The biggest problem with
Soul Searcher —
a British zero-budget fantasy/horror tale
isn’t that it is silly, but that it isn’t silly enough. It tries hard to
be serious —
a sort of high-minded Highlander
but never realizes the inherent silliness of the material. Instead it is
oh so serious, and even hardened Mystery Science
Theater 3000 “so bad, it’s good” types will have a tough time
appreciating the various going-ons.
The problem lies with
the script, which never clearly explains just what the hell is going on
and why one should care. The screenplay also makes the mistake of
introducing a major character about 50 minutes into the film’s
proceedings. Characters are mere ciphers and don’t act like anyone you
would ever know. Cheap effects and amateur acting can be written off due
to budget constraints, but a good screenplay doesn’t require a huge
budget, just some creativity.
Searcher is too ambitious for its own good. Few low-budget horror and
sci-fi film-makers seems to have learnt the lesson
Cube has taught us: if you only have the money for one set, then write
your screenplay around the fact that you could only afford one set . . .
WORMHOLE CHASERS is a quirky off-beat four minutes-long short film by
Gregory Zymet about a “wormhole that is going to open in the corner of
Marjorie Adam’s apartment.” It’s kinda cute and humorous and worth
checking out if you can find it anywhere. Zymet can be contacted at
GUIDOLON THE GIANT
SPACE CHICKEN (www.guidolon.com) clocks in at 11 minutes and offers more weirdness,
animated this time by Hugo Award-winning artist Frank Wu. Fans of Japanese
Godzilla flicks will “get” it and
appreciate it the most. It tells the story of Guidolon the Space Chicken
who wants to be acknowledged as a serious artist and not just for his
(its?) monster flicks. Wu made the short animated film as a pitch for a TV
show. It’s funny, clever and weird —
Adult Swim will be idiots if they pass on this one! You can check out the
sort at their web site (requires QuickTime 7).
See also: Planetfall
& Dream Parlor