MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID

STARRING: Deborah Gibson, Tiffany, A Martinez, Kathryn Joosten, Kevin M. Horton, Carey Van Dyke

2011, 90 Minutes, Directed by: Mary Lambert

Has-been ‘Eighties pop stars, seriously dodgy CGI critters, cheap special effects, rotten acting and a campy tongue-in-cheek screenplay that is in on the joke: “How dare you! You crazy, cold-blooded, snake-loving bitch!”

An animal activist played by pop star Debbie Gibson (or Deborah Gibson as the credits list her), who looks more like a waitress at Hooters than anything else, lets some giant lab pythons loose in the Florida everglades. “The pythons are at the top of the food chain. That's just the way it is. That's how it's supposed to be,” she responds when told that the pythons are threatening several other endangered species. (Can you imagine any animal rights organization reacting this way?)

The mutant pythons start decimating the alligator population and a deranged park ranger (Tiffany) decides to even the score by feeding the gators an experimental steroid that makes them grow to enormous sizes. Naturally both animal species start threatening humans and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid’s two unlikely heroines (come on! just who the heck decided Tiffany should be in movies?) must team up to save a nearby city.

All of this makes for a “so bad, it’s good” movie-going experience that is difficult to actually dislike. An advanced sense of irony as well as some alcoholic beverages is required obviously. You weren’t expecting an Oscar winner with that title, were you?

If all else fails you can always just stare at fortysomething ex-pop singer Tiffany’s ample cleavage as the movie producers probably intended when they made her wear a revealing evening dress for the film’s climax. Sure, it’s a bit like perving on your aunt or something and you’ll feel dirty in the morning, but when it comes to original SyFy TV movies like this you have take all you can get. Fun.

By the way, the movie’s tag line is: “Screaming, Scratching, Biting . . . and that's just THE GIRLS!”