NOT OF THIS EARTH

STARRING: Traci Lords, Arthur Roberts, Lenny Juliano, Ace Mask, Roger Lodge

1988, 80 Minutes, Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Description: A space vampire comes to Earth for blood, and hires a nurse (Traci Lords) and a manservant to help him out. But they both uncover that he is not what he seems and they try and stop him with some help from their friends. — Amazon.com

Remake of a 1957 Roger Corman low-budget quickie of the same title, the only reason anyone would want to see Not of this Earth is that it stars ex-porn star Traci Lords.

But it isn’t one of those movies - although it shares the same cheap production values, bad acting and awful music. For fans of the delectable miss Lords, Not of this Earth does find several reasons to show her (and several other big-breasted bimbo types) in revealing clothing, topless, and in various stages of undress as its plot progresses.

The plot incidentally is about a Blues Brother from another planet who comes to Earth to find blood to rescue his dying home planet. Of course simply asking us for it isn’t part of the plot - so cue some horror clichés. The thing with Not of this Earth is that one never really knows whether it is having us on, whether it deliberately tries to fall into the so shite it is actually good category. Some moments in it are pure Ed Wood. (However, judging from the opening sequence - a montage of stuntmen in rubber suits no doubt taken from previous Roger Corman epics - wants the audience to know that it is entering B-Movie territory).

In a strange Mystery Science Theatre 3000 way I found myself enjoying the whole affair. I suspect that somewhere there is a tongue tucked firmly in someone’s cheek and that is how one should view the movie.

Sci-Fi Movie Page Pick: B-movie - be in the right frame of mind, beer not optional! Pure Roger Corman exploitation pic starring ex-porn star Traci Lords. Lots of beer and pizza are required while watching . . .