PLANET 51
 
STARRING: Hugh Jackman, Live Schreiber,
Dominic Monaghan
2009, 107 Minutes, Directed by:
Gavin Hood
 I
suppose after the sugar rush of wonderful family films such as Cloudy with a
Chance of Meatballs and Fantastic Mr. Fox, the high was bound to
crash at some point . . .
Planet 51 is the party
pooper, looking to pass itself off as a spirited sci-fi romp crammed with
slapstick and four-quadrant-friendly pop culture references to best wow the
crowds. The picture is actually a poorly conceived comedy spotlighting a
collection of anal-centric humor that’s about as appealing as baseball bat to
the face. After watching a few creative minds take the animation genre to
soaring heights, the dreadful routine and vulgar imagination of Planet 51
is all the more dispiritingly amplified.
Life on Planet 51 is good, with
the populace enjoying a 1950’s standard of living, adorned with hovering
extraterrestrial technology. For young Lem (voiced by Justin Long), the future
is bright, having secured an ideal job at the local planetarium and learning the
girl of his dreams (Jessica Biel) is into him.
However, everything changes
when a NASA ship lands on the planet, carrying astronaut Chuck Baker (Dwayne
Johnson) inside. Branded an alien intruder, Baker runs for his life, separating
himself from his only ride back to Earth. As hysteria rolls through the town,
encouraged by General Grawl (Gary Oldman), Lem finds himself face to face with
Baker, believing the arrogant spaceman means no harm. With the assistance of his
friends (including Seann William Scott) and mechanical pal Rover (think
Wall-E), Lem attempts to elude capture as he helps
Baker get back to Earth.
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"Planet 51 is about as appealing as baseball bat to the
face!" |
Within 10 minutes of
commencing, Planet 51 burns through a buffet of bodily function gags,
eager to announce itself as a brainless, thinly written production. Bravo. It’s
not a thrilling way to kick off a movie, but one has the feeling director Jorge
Blanco is desperate to do anything to ingratiate himself with younger viewers,
hoping the lowbrow stuff will make for passable matinee fodder. It’s a sweaty,
unstable tap dance that creates an unpleasant ambiance of noise and repetition
for Planet 51, which worsens the more it accelerates.
Blanco and his production love
the warm reassurance of the butt, with most of the film’s jokes, be it corks to
thwart anal probes or an H.R. Gigeresque pooch who merrily scoots along the
grass to draw attention, centered on the magic of the rear end. It speaks to the
degree of wit Planet 51 contains, which takes great care to imagine an
expansive alien world of ‘50’s suburban sprawl and classic sci-fi cinema
tributes (the locals wait with bated breath for the opening of the invasion
film, Humaniacs III), only to waste it on lazy humor in the name of fun (for
those playing at home, there’s also a Macarena gag). Surely there was something
Blanco and the gang could’ve fixated on besides the hindquarters?
Actually, there is: a
long-haired character named Glar (Alan Marriott), who represents the growing
hippie movement on the planet, to further mirror life on Earth, also providing a
romantic rival for Lem. The subplot fits into the historical satire of the film,
but arrives without the laughs. Unless you count mangled Dylan lyrics as a
clever source of comedy.
Animation wise, Planet 51
widens the disappointment. There’s certainly fluid bodily movement to help
underscore the slapstick, but the green-centric color scheme tires the eyes
after 20 minutes, and Baker’s animation has the all-American astronaut with the
right stuff distractingly cross-eyed, as well as suffering from poor lip-synch
for Johnson’s wheezy one-liners. For CG animation, Planet 51 is a
visually lackluster adventure, making peppy alien life about as colorful and
expressive as a Disney Channel program.
With Grawl an anemic villain,
Baker an unappealing hero (lobotomy threats are sadly never carried out), and
the film’s sense of humor DOA, Planet 51 is a rough sit. The picture
grows more insistent as the plot thickens, amping up the explosions and punch
lines as it speeds toward a surprisingly ho-hum grand finale. Lacking a sense of
awe or welcome sense of humor, Planet 51 is a drag, easily skipped during
its theatrical run, perhaps better appreciated at home, where kids are free to
nap through it and adults have access to heavy amounts of alcohol to properly
endure it.
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Brian Orndorf
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